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tú vs usted

English has only "you", so learners either avoid usted entirely or use it so much they sound stiff. Both choices carry social meaning in Spanish.

tú

informal, peer to peer

  • ¿Cómo estás?
  • ¿Tienes tiempo?
  • Ven aquí.
  • Tu casa es bonita.
  • ¿Quieres un café?

usted

formal, respectful distance

  • ¿Cómo está usted?
  • ¿Tiene tiempo?
  • Venga aquí.
  • Su casa es bonita.
  • ¿Quiere un café?

Quick answer

tú = informal you: friends, family, peers, children, most people your own age.
usted = formal you: strangers older than you, officials, customers, anyone you want to show respect to.

Watch the verb: usted takes third-person forms (usted tiene), which is the part learners forget.

Side by side

¿Puedes ayudarme? / ¿Puede usted ayudarme?Can you help me? — same question, second one to a stranger or an official.
Siéntate, por favor. / Siéntese, por favor.Sit down please — the formal imperative changes the ending, not just the pronoun.
Puedes tutearme.You can use tú with me — the standard way a Spanish speaker invites you to drop the formality.

Memory trick

Start with usted with any adult stranger and let them downgrade you. Being slightly too formal reads as polite; being too informal reads as rude.

Typical mistakes

¿Usted tienes hijos?

¿Usted tiene hijos?

Usted takes the third-person verb form, the same one used for él and ella. Mixing usted with a tú ending is the single most common slip.

Usted, ¿cómo te llamas?

Usted, ¿cómo se llama?

The reflexive pronoun has to shift too: te belongs to tú, se belongs to usted.

Check yourself

You are speaking to a police officer. Which is right?

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